Please keep this in mind before scolding anyone - whether it's kids, a partner, a spouse, friends, or family - no one intends to make mistakes. No one is looking to create accidents. No one wants to do wrong. And when these things do happen, we should step back to take a look at how we handle the situation.
In my culture (probably yours as well) when someone acts outside of what is considered the "norm", that person gets scolded from a place of frustration and anger. Many of us may not agree with this method, especially when it comes to children. With that said, I have taken a different approach with my daughter (she's sensitive and she's also a preteen) and with this approach, I have seen better results by explaining & complimenting instead of screaming and scolding. Trust me... It is indeed an extra effort and requires a certain amount of patience, but the positive results have influenced me to take it a step further to treat others in the same manner. It is my belief that we need to improve how we receive others' rationale and logic rather than expect them to think or act as we would.
The power of the words that comes out of our mouths is an enormous amount of energy with the repercussions of that of an action.
When I empathize, to first understand the other person's point of view, it helps us to move towards a solution, while simultaneously reducing resentment.
When you get scolded, what are some of the thoughts that come to mind? What kind of emotions do you feel? Does resentment, frustration, and anger sound familiar? Very likely! And with these negative emotions involved, you will most likely lose the focus to solve the problem; making it more challenging to overcome the situation, while piling on irrelevant conflicts.
A compliment, on the other hand, is a form of encouragement with a ripple effect as strong as scolding, but in the opposite direction.
Complaining & scolding is poisonous to the recipient and to yourself so let's start empathizing and complimenting instead! No matter how flawed someone may appear, remember that everyone has unique skills and talents to contribute. Let’s acknowledge that first.